Who cut the fruit?

Consider me crazy, but I like to cut my fruit. Whenever anyone bites into an apple, pear or plum, I sort of wince because the act seems so barbaric. I'm also imagining all the painful little pieces of apple that get caught in my gums, festering until I can relieve them with a heroic piece of floss, and the juice squirts that often unintentionally end up in your neighbor's eye. Keep in mind that my theory is that Asians by and large cut their fruit into neat little shapes and portion out the pieces to friends and family (or sell in plastic bags and cups on the street), while Americans, with their strong, horse-like teeth, bite into fruit whole, perhaps as a habit of eating food while "on the go," while walking down the street, on the bus and at their desks.

I'd like to start a fruit-cutting movement. Fellow Asian Americans, next time you want to share some fruit with your co-workers, cut it up. Hopefully they'll notice how smoothly the fruit glides off their tongues, and will appreciate that you shared your apple with them at all. And if you're expecting guests from abroad, cut your fruit--I'm sure they'll appreciate the sentiment.